The tree is up, the heating is on full blast, and the tin of Roses has already been raided for all the purple ones. Christmas in Ireland is a magical time of year. It is filled with family, food, and for the obsessed among us, a desperate need to escape the house for four hours of peace on the golf course.
Navigating the festive season as a golfer requires the strategic mind of a Ryder Cup captain. You are battling daylight, heavy ground conditions, and the delicate diplomatic mission of explaining to your nearest and dearest why you need to leave them on St Stephens Day to hit a small ball into a muddy field.
Here is your essential survival guide to navigating the hazards of Christmas, both on and off the course.
1. The Art of the Gift Face
We have all been there. You are sitting around the tree on Christmas morning. You are handed a suspiciously rectangular heavy box. Your heart leaps. Is it a dozen Pro V1s? Is it that new rangefinder you dropped heavy hints about?
You tear off the paper to reveal a box of rock-hard distance balls that feel like hitting a snooker ball with a shovel. Or perhaps a novelty toilet putting set. Or maybe a headcover that looks like a stuffed reindeer.
You must perfect your Gift Face. Smile, nod enthusiastically, and say how brilliant they are.
And actually, they will be perfect. Winter golf in Ireland often involves fairways that squelch under your feet and wind that feels like it is coming in sideways. Do you really want to lose an expensive Titleist into a plugged lie in the rough? No. This is the exact time to use those budget balls Auntie Mary bought you. If you lose them in the grey festive gloom, it does not matter. It is the circle of life.
2. Weather Watching and the Provisional Booking
Booking a tee time in late December is a high stakes gamble. The forecast might say mild and overcast on Tuesday, but by Thursday morning the course could be closed due to frost or fog.
Avoid paying upfront green fees if you can help it. Look for courses that allow payment on arrival or have flexible cancellation policies. There is nothing worse than having cash locked into a tee time while you are staring out the window at torrential rain.
Remember that even if you do get out, the course conditions will dictate the play. Most clubs will have brought in Winter Rules by now, meaning you will see either clean-and-replace (E-2) or preferred lies (E-3) depending on how the course is holding up. This is actually a blessing. It stops the game from being a muddy slog and ensures fairness when the ground is soft. So keep an eye on the club app or social media before you travel.
3. The Diplomatic Exit
This is the trickiest part of the holidays. Whether you are a husband, wife, partner, or parent, announcing that you are vanishing for five hours during family time can be risky. It does not matter who you are. Leaving a house full of peeling vegetables and wrapping paper to go play golf requires tact.
Do not just announce you are leaving. You need to out your family first. Empathy is your best club in the bag here.
Start by being useful early. Walk the dog, peel the spuds, or assemble the toys. Bank the goodwill points. Then frame the golf as a necessity for everyone else’s sanity. Tell them you need to burn off some of those mince pies so you are not a sluggish mess on the sofa later. Finally, offer an invitation. Ask if they want to come walk 9 holes with you. They will almost certainly say no because it is freezing, but the offer counts.
4. Patience on the Fairways
Christmas golf is not normal golf. The atmosphere is different. You will encounter people playing their one round of the year. You will see outfits that should not exist outside of a pantomime.
You may also encounter the Festive Fourball in front of you who clearly had a Baileys coffee with breakfast. They might be slow. They might be loud. They might be taking four mulligans per hole.
Breathe. It is Christmas. Unless you are playing a serious Winter League match, let the competitive rage go. If the group ahead is slow, use the time to practice your chipping around the tee box or just enjoy the fact that you are not in a shopping centre.
Also be prepared for the course to look different. To protect soft fairways, clubs sometimes make fairway mats compulsory. Do not moan about the mats. They are there to ensure there is actually grass left on the fairway when spring arrives.
5. Lower Your Expectations
Finally, remember that winter golf is hard. You are wearing four layers of clothing which restricts your swing like a straightjacket. The ball does not fly as far in the cold air.
If you go out expecting to shoot your summer handicap, you will be miserable. While the World Handicap System technically has no off season, many clubs declare winter competitions non counting because the course no longer meets the required WHS score-acceptable conditions, such as too many temporary greens or major tee and length changes.
Treat Christmas golf for what it is. It is fresh air. It is a break from the madness. It is a chance to swing a club. If you hit a few good shots, great. If you shank one into the holly bush on the 4th, laugh it off.
So throw on your woolly hat, stash those questionable Christmas golf balls in the bag, and enjoy a well-earned break on the fairways. The turkey sandwiches will taste twice as good when you get back.
Happy Christmas and play well!
